Lord, I don’t understand the evil that prowls this world. I don’t understand how a man’s heart turns so dark that it seeks to kill and destroy light and life and beauty. I try to make sense of it, but I can’t. And that, I suppose, is the point. Lies doesn’t make sense… only truth.
I close my eyes and I feel a sick sinking in my chest as a lump forms in my throat. It’s that familiar mix of fear, sadness, and confusion. God? I hate that it’s a familiar feeling now. I remember the first time it felt like ice water ran through my veins while I clasped my sweaty palms. I was in 5th grade when two men blew up a building in Oklahoma City. I remember the classroom whispers and the images on the newspapers and TV screens. I didn’t understand then and I don’t understand now. Then that sickening feeling was new and now it is familiar.
It’s familiar because these events are happening over and over and over. Lord, I am weary of it. I’m weary of the devastation and terror cast throughout the world reverberating into the hearts of people in every country. I’m weary of nerves rattled and eyes widened in shock and fear. I’m weary of death and destruction.
God it feels like they are winning. Time and time again I’ve heard people tell me and others that we can’t be afraid or else evil wins. But Lord, I’m trembling. And somehow I don’t think my broken heart gives them strength. You say that when we are weak you are strong. I feel so very weak… a lot of us do. Please show your strength right now.
I imagine a lot of people feel shock tonight. Bodies have been broken, yes, but hearts have been ripped to shreds. Only you can mend them. Please mend them.
For the families waiting for news as their hearts beat in both fear and hope… comfort them as only you can.
For the children whose innocence was stolen tonight and their view of life forever altered… wrap them up in your arms and speak truth to their little souls.
For the men and women who are responding to the emergency… guide and strengthen them.
For the leaders of our countries… supply your grace and your wisdom.
For the survivors of these attacks… we ask for mercy in their time of recovery of both body and spirit.
For those who have murder in their hearts, Lord… break them. Break down their hearts and remove the hate. Uproot the lies that tell them hate is better than love. Change them, God, inside out.
And for us who are trembling tonight… God let us never forget your unshakable love. Let us forgive. Let us never ever lose sight of the power and might and strength of grace and mercy and LOVE.
Sometimes it’s hard to see you, God. Sometimes it’s hard to see good when life feels so very heavy. Help us see you right now. Help us in our fears and doubts. Help us know that no matter what at the end of every day love always wins.