This series is meant to be a way for me to work through living better in this season of “in between” for myself and my family as I look back at other transitional phases in life and as I strive to keep moving forward and not sit stagnant during this in between phase of life. Something I’ve struggled with in the past is feeling like I can’t accomplish anything while it all feels “up in the air.” I want to wait until everything is calm, secure, and settled to do a new thing or get started on that project I’ve been dreaming up. Maybe you can relate?
The problem is…. the dust never really settles. There’s always something, isn’t there?
Sometimes most of the time I feel very “in between” in my online life. That’s a funny phrase. What I mean is that this website of mine is something I take seriously and I constantly want to make it better and keep it moving forward. This isn’t an ego thing for me. I don’t mean make it better by getting more followers or growing my numbers… I just mean make it better. I want to make it a place that feels like a good representation of who I am and what I stand for. I want it to be a place where I can share my story openly and vulnerably in a way that points to God’s glory.
The thing is, since I’m constantly growing (I hope) and changing, this place often feels like it’s in transition. Part of my problem is that I spent a year or so designing blogs for other people. As a result I kept seeing new concepts and ideas that I just loved and my blog design changed about once a month. I finally settled into changing it up just a few times a year. But for the last year I’ve had a vision for this site that I never put into action and so I can’t tweaking little things here and there but ever feeling like it was becoming what I wanted.
Last night I decided that it’s time to stop dancing around the idea. I just did it. This may seem so small and insignificant to you (and it probably is!) But this was something I’d been thinking about for a very long time. A landing page. A one stop home page that represents what I love, what I share, and what I’m all about. It may seem silly that I didn’t just do it when I wanted to, but it all goes back to those what if questions…
You see, the sites I see that have landing pages and create the feel I was striving for are all pretty big and professional places. Authors, magazine publishers, popular speakers, designers, ect. You get the idea. Who am I to try to create the same thing? So waited. I thought, “maybe once I get a publisher and actually become an author…” or “well I only really speak at a few small things a year so maybe if one day I speak more often…” and on it goes. I felt too “in between.” Not quite good enough.
But that’s what’s so silly! It’s not about being big and important. It’s not about looking to the right or left and doing what they’re doing. It’s about taking the next step and doing the next right thing. Even in the in between. It’s about running the race YOU were called to run, even if it looks so different from the people around you or the people you admire.
So this little site of mine might always be in an “in between” place as it changes and grows with me. But I’m no longer going to let life sit on hold until I have it all figured out. Because the truth is that I never really will.
I’ll continuing adding things to the new site over the coming weeks – and tweaking the pages. I hope you enjoy looking around!