I was just telling a friend this weekend that apparently I take summers off from blogging. I don’t do it intentionally, but I blog very infrequently in the summers. For some reason, when September rolls around I’m back in blogging mode. Maybe it’s the start of a new school year and the feeling that I should be doing work? I don’t know. But I’m back in the swing of things and feeling ready to tackle a new blogging project.
Each fall I see the Nester’s 31 day challenge and am so tempted to join in, but never have. This year I’m not holding back. I’m jumping in and hoping I make it all 31 days. I may not, but at least I’ll have tried! 31 straight days of posts. Yikes. The topic I chose to write about for the entire month of October…
What does that mean, to live “in between”? Well, I’m on a mission to figure it out! I’m in a very “in between” place of life right now. I feel sort of suspended in this limbo stage where I know God’s going to do something but He hasn’t yet. I don’t know exactly what or when and I feel a bit paralyzed by that. I’m not sure if I should dig in and go deeper where I am because what if I’m uprooted? And yet, it’s not time to start a new thing. So what do I do in this in between place?
Living in between is uncomfortable! It fits like an itchy wool sweater. There’s a restlessness that comes before change. Early last June I just couldn’t sit still. My spirit was stirred up and nothing felt right or calm in our adoption journey. Were we in the wrong place? I called our case worker and begged her to let us switch countries. All of a sudden I felt this urge to not be in the Ghana program anymore. Maybe we could switch to their new Uganda program? “No,” she said, “you’re where you need to be.” But it didn’t fit and it didn’t feel right. So I prayed. That Friday a facebook status popped up on my news feed and there she was. A 20 day old girl in Ethiopia. Our Arsema. And so we took off running to bring her home. All that restlessness and discomfort and feeling all out of whack was not for nothing. It was to prepare our hearts to walk away from one path to do the next thing God had for us.
But the in between part didn’t feel so great and it didn’t look so great and it was confusing. Here’s what I imagine my heart looks like in the in between… (except I don’t look nearly as precious…)
I believe this is fertile ground. I believe that living in between can be a time of great growth. When John and I were trying to grow our family I went through a few years living in between. I didn’t do it well. I remember being frozen in time and not fully living because I was waiting for a baby that would never come. “Well, I don’t want to plan that because what if I get pregnant?” was a common phrase in our home. Looking back, I know a lot was wasted. Funny thing is,once I stopped saying no, and started saying yes, God led us to adoption and that baby came home after all. But what could have happened in those years between?
I don’t want to waste this season. I want to figure out what it is to live in between. How can I prepare my heart, my home, my family, my community for a thing that has yet to come? How should I invest in this phase? What does God want to teach me or use me to accomplish? I’m on a journey to figure that out and I want to take you with me… for 31 days at least. My journey in between may extend beyond that, but hopefully I’ll have learned a thing or two by then.
Day 1:: Living My Days in the In-Between
Day 2:: Living In-Between Africa
Day 5:: Living In-Between Online
Day 7:: Living In-Between Means Waiting
Day 8:: Scripture For the In-Between
Day 9:: Wishing Away the In-Between
Day 10:: Don’t Hurry Past In the In-Between
Day 11:: woops!
Day 13:: In-Between Moments Alone
Day 14:: Sick Of Living In-Between
Day 17:: took the day off to pray for 2 yr old Rose Eber, who was fighting for her life but passed away this afternoon
Day 18:: took the day off to pray for the Eber family
Day 20:: Somewhere In the Middle
Day 21:: woops!
Day 22:: Less Stuff, More People