Lauren Casper »

fade to blue

Six years ago today was the last day I had two hearts beating inside of me… mine and our second little love. Six years ago one heart stopped beating and the other broke in two. Today six years ago feels like forever and yesterday all at once. Today my heart bears the scars of healing. Today heaven seems so close and awfully far away.

Six years ago I couldn’t see through the fog of pain and the words of a country song kept playing over and over in my head as I cried on my pillow. “Fade to blue… We didn’t make it through… Let the curtain fall…And fade to blue…

Today a new truth echos through my soul. Today I woke up to this poem sitting on the table. John couldn’t sleep, with his little one on his heart he wrote these words at 2:30am…

Big plans and big hurt

Big dreams and big void

What God meant we did not see

Something much bigger than you and me


Mountains shaken and hills removed

Yet love and peace remain

A flicker of hope appears in the dark

In the sound of God’s whisper echos a spark


A spark of life, a spark of love

Born in our hearts from God’s plan above

The little one waits for a home far away

The two parents hope and pray for the way


Now little giggles and little bears

Two little beds and countless kisses

One, two, three sons we have from the Giver

Brothers and sister, and husband and wife

All knit together in one eternal life. 


Cyrus John Casper || Born in heaven 07-10-2007 || Living forever in our hearts

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