Lauren Casper » Embracing the Story

the father of my children

 

One of the most precious gifts of marriage has been to watch my husband become a daddy. Becoming a daddy didn’t come easy for John. The road to fatherhood was filled with a lot of brokenness, heartbreak, confusion, frustration, and tears. I remember the first time I told him I was pregnant… the shock and delight on his face. I remember him talking about our baby and being so excited to be a father. I remember him caring for me in the hospital so wonderfully, and crying next to me when the doctor gave us the awful news. I remember him chopping a lot of wood outback that week. It seemed that every time I turned around he was doing some hard manual labor around the cabin or out in the yard. I later learned that was how he handled grief. I remember him sitting on the front porch when the sun came up morning after morning when our second baby went to heaven. I never understood why he wanted to be up at the break of dawn to just sit alone. I later learned he was begging God for a baby… every morning… one that we could keep. I remember him standing by my side through all the months of tests and procedures. I remember him crying and praying with me. I remember him telling me that he never once regretted choosing me. I remember watching him with the twins we fostered and knowing he was the daddy they needed. I remember him literally holding me up as we walked back inside when social services took them from our home. I remember his face when the phone call finally came… a little boy in Ethiopia needed a daddy. I remember the first time he held Mareto and the love in his eyes. I remember coming home and watching him become this amazing father and knowing that all the years and tears and hurts brought him to this place and made him the father he is today. I remember telling him that I wanted another baby and his smile and the immediate agreement. I remember him meeting his little girl and knowing that she would have him wrapped around her pinky forever. I love watching him melt at her smile and babbles.

He’s stood by us, taken care of us, prayed for us, fought for us, loved us, and treasured us every day. He is a servant leader and I am so grateful that he is the father of my children. Happy Father’s Day John… we love you dearly.

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