Lauren Casper »

deep gladness meets deep hunger

Sometimes I think I dream too much… or maybe too big… or maybe even a little unrealistically. It’s taken me a long time to figure out what it is that I feel passionately about… what it is that makes me come alive and gets my heart burning. Little snippets come along throughout life and summoning every ounce of courage I can get my hands on I just take one step forward. One step at a time — hoping all the while that it works out.

I’m not naturally brave. I have a lot of fears and the biggest of those is the fear of failure. That particular fear keeps me from trying a lot of things, but the more days that slip by the less I seem to care about falling flat on my face. I don’t want to look back on life and wish I’d tried.

Sometimes I wish I had known at 18 what I know now. As a fresh graduate of High School getting ready to embark on my college career I had no idea what I wanted out of life. But then I realize that it wouldn’t have made sense for me to know then what I know now. Because the things I’ve learned over the last eleven years have come through life experience.

I never could have known my passion for heartbroken women and helpless surrender. I had to experience devastating loss to know that.

I never could have known my love for other cultures and for the people that the world often calls “the least” … the poorest, the sickest, the most hopeless. I had to fly to Ethiopia to know that.

I never could have known that my heart would explode over adoption and orphan care because I’d never looked an orphan in the face and or held one in my arms before. I had to experience the adoption process and visit crowded orphanages in another place to know that.

And I had no idea that I would have burning desire to tell my story and others stories through writing. All of life has led me up to this point of realizing what it is that I really want to offer the world. Stories.

As much as I wish I knew that back at the start of college and could have gotten my degree in English or Journalism, I realize that there’s no way I could have known that until I lived a little more. What would I have written about anyway? You have to experience life to write about it.

I’m not sure yet where this is all going to lead. I am not naive to the fact that I have two very small children at home and a husband in full time ministry. Time isn’t exactly in abundance. But I have decided that it’s time to act. It’s time to take these dreams that I sometimes think are just too big and realize that there’s no such thing a too big a dream. God-sized dreams are just the right size.

I’m ready to start telling stories. I’m ready to offer hope, encouragement, awareness, and inspiration to the world through words.

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