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our family puzzle: guest post by Lovelyn

Today I have the wonderful and beautiful Lovlyn sharing with us! I met Love last year at a retreat and she is such a joy and inspiration. It was there that she announced she was expecting what she *thought* was #8… but it turned out that she was carrying twins! She has the most beautiful children and a wonderful family. You can find more of her writing and pictures of her adorable kids at her blog Moments with Love. Without further ado… here’s what Love has to share about adoption… 

Adoption: One Piece of our Family Puzzle

by Lovelyn Palm

we’ve heard a lot of things from people when they find out that we have 9 children. although there are certainly polite ways to talk about things and sometimes it isn’t the time to talk about it at all, i mostly love sharing about our large family that includes both biological and adopted children.  sometimes, when people realize that we have 6 girls biologically and 3 boys through adoption, they assume that we ‘needed’ a boy. sometimes people see that we’ve adopted children of similar ages to our biological  children and recount how they’ve heard how wrong and bad virtual twinning is. they see our oldest girl as displaced by her brother & give some sort of condolence as  if it was the worst thing we could do to a child.

while i don’t know the future or how any of our children will feel about their upbringing decades from now, i do know this:

we have 9 children because we love them, we wanted 9 children and the Lord saw fit to bless  us with these ones.  although there are normal sibling issues, they are mostly just that–normal sibling issues.  each of our children love each other & seem to really get that this is how God formed our family.

virtual twinning needs to be considered carefully, but when it’s a fit for each person in the family and the Lord calls you to it, it can be done and everyone can still thrive. our 2 sets of virtual twins are each other’s best friends. it has been beautiful to watch exactly how each of them fit into our family.


disrupting birth order is a serious consideration. we do not take that lightly. but, there are plenty of voices out there educating on the negatives.  those should be heard for wisdom and one should carefully discern God’s will.  we are thankful that He has asked us to be a voice that this can work.  yes, it is hard sometimes.  yes, it changes things in your family forever, but sometimes it is exactly how your family was meant to be.

adoption has been a beautiful piece to our family puzzle, but in the end, we’re just a family. i’m not saying that i don’t want to talk about the beauty of adoption with people, but sometimes there just aren’t a lot of answers to all the why’s.  this is how God made our family and He is why it works.  yes, sometimes it seemed overwhelming or scary on paper–but, nothing really is that scary when it is in His will.

**The winner of the Lisa Leonard necklace giveaway is comment #19… Mary! As for the initials, Mary said “The initials would be K and J; K for my precious daughter whose patience and loving guidance help her little brother daily; and J for my special needs son.” Congratulations Mary — please email me your address!

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