I didn’t mean to take an almost 2 week blog break – I really didn’t. It just sort of happened. Here’s the deal – I tend to blog what’s on my heart at the time… things I’ve been thinking about a lot, things happening in my life, or exciting adoption news, ect. But what happens when something really terrible and painful happens and you can’t think of any words, just tears? A two week break from blogging.
This is me asking you to pray for someone most of you don’t know. My dear friend Sarah is a beautiful person. She was the first person my age to reach out to me when we moved to this area and to our new church. We were at a Tide’s game and we had been introduced just minutes before. All the ladies were talking about crafty things and I was listening and hoping to fit in. Then Sarah turned to me and said, “Do you like to craft?” I said that I did and she said, “Well you’re going to fit in great here.” And that was that. I knew I had a friend. We hit it off right away and became close immediately.
Most of the ladies our age had children – we were the only two in our “circle” that worked full time with no babies at home. It was a common bond that connected us because we both really wanted children but at that time I was in the midst of infertility woes and Sarah was finding herself in a place of waiting until some different life circumstances worked out. Then John and I decided to adopt. Just a few months later Sarah called me one morning to tell me that she had gotten that marvelous purple plus sign. We would be having babies together! In March we got on the waitlist for a little boy and in June Sarah texted me that Mareto would have a little buddy… the ultrasound showed that she was expecting a boy too!! Her little sweetie, Micah, joined the world in December and Mareto came home in February. They’re great buds. Micah calls Mareto “Mato” and Mareto constantly tries to either kiss Micah or pat him on the back.
Then John and I started the adoption process again… and this spring Sarah announced that they were expecting #2 as well. I was so excited that we were having babies together again. When we accepted our little loves referral in June I secretly started hoping that Sarah would have a girl too so our daughters could be best friends. Sarah’s 20 week ultrasound was Monday. That’s when the world tipped.
I knew that her appointment was at 9:30am and she promised to text me right after they called their mothers. When I hadn’t gotten a text at 11am I got a little concerned but hoped that the doctor’s office was just running late. Then around 11:30am it came… A GIRL!!! I squealed with joy and then got a lump in my throat as I read that she needed prayer because there were some concerns… she had another ultrasound that afternoon. I prayed for hours and around 4pm sat on the couch sobbing as I heard that the news was bad.
You see Sarah’s precious girl has polycystic kidneys, no bladder, and an underdeveloped chest. She cannot live outside the womb. To say that this is horribly painful news doesn’t begin to cover it. I really don’t know what else to say about it.
You really need to read Sarah’s blog. She has been posting regularly this week after they got the news about their daughter, Evie. Her faith is beautiful and unwavering. I know many of you who read my blog have lost babies. You know how much encouraging and loving words mean – so would you please stop by and share some love with Sarah?
Sarah – I know you’re reading this so I just want to tell you again, like I have a thousand times this week, that I love you… that I am sorry… that I wish I could change it… that you are a beautiful testimony of God’s grace… and that I am always here for you.
Evie – I know you can’t read but maybe your mommy will read this to you: I love you. You are precious and you are fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who loves you infinitely more than we ever could. We are praying for you. I am begging for a miracle. I am hoping for healing because I want to have you over to play dolls and dress up with my little girl. But whatever God chooses to do we are thankful for your life. No matter how long you are here you are glorifying the King. You are beautiful.
Thank you to those of you who have been emailing to see if I’m okay while I took this unintentional break. It was sweet to know that so many people would be worried if I just stopped blogging for awhile. : ) I’ve just found that this week I needed to be spending the majority of my time in prayer for my friend, and talking to her, and letting her process through her blog. So now I ask you all to take a moment to stop what you are doing and lift up little Evie to the Father.