So much on my heart this week. Lots going on and too many ideas swirling around in this head. Especially on my heart lately has been women who struggle through the heartbreak of infertility. That awful diagnosis that makes you feel like you’re somehow less of a woman (even though you know it’s not true) and robs you of something you thought was a basic right… the ability to bear children. Now you realize that it’s not a right at all but an enormous privilege that is too often taken for granted. If you find yourself in the depth of the valley today I wish so much that I could have coffee with you… that I could sit down with you and listen, and nod, and cry with you. I wish I could tell you that I know exactly how it feels and that I know how lonely you feel in a sea of fertile women. I wish I could tell you my story… the one where my heart broke into a thousand pieces so tiny and scattered that I thought it could never be put back together again. The story where a Hero came rushing in to collect all those shattered pieces and carefully stitched them back together to make one beautiful but scarred heart that is just a little more sensitive than it was before. I would tell you how I learned to trade my dreams for His dreams… and how I learned to embrace the story that He was writing for me. I would tell you that it will always hurt and you will bear the scars forever, but that His dreams really are the most amazingly beautiful dreams… far more than you or I could ever imagine. I would tell you that one day you will smile again and find true joy in who He made you to be.
But since I can’t sit down with all of you over coffee to hold your hand and share God’s amazing love… I will write it in a book. Maybe you’ll read it over coffee.
This is something God placed so heavily on my heart. I got the distinct feeling that He wanted me to share the story… the one only He could so perfectly script. So I sat down and started typing and have poured my heart, time, sweat, and tears into nine chapters so far. Sharing this with you is difficult because there is a lot of fear involved. What if I can’t finish it? What if everyone thinks it’s totally lame? What if people read it and then misunderstand my words? What if no one reads it?
But God has already taken care of all of that. He has called me to write the story and so write it I will… then it’s up to Him to do with as He pleases. Maybe it’s just for one sweet soul… or maybe it’s for 100. Either way it’s worth it.
– like the facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/TradedDreams to get updates about the book (release date, ect)