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I’ve been having a rough time lately. My heart is a little bruised as I’m going through some struggles. I feel confused, torn, unsettled, and a bit heartsick. It’s too personal for me to share with anyone but Jesus and my husband. Maybe some day. But right now it’s too raw and I’m still wading my way through things.
Today I was dwelling on it all and trying to make some sense why I’m going through this and how to make it better. All of a sudden stories started popping into my head.
My stories.
Our stories.
Stories of His faithfulness to me during times of hardship, pain, confusion, and struggle.
Stories when He proved faithful time and time again. He has never failed to work all things according to HIS good purposes… even when it didn’t make sense at the time.
And then I realized. I didn’t just randomly think of those things on my own. God was reminding me. He was giving me a gift. He was whispering into my heart, “Daughter I love you. Remember this time that you didn’t understand but I was there and I had a plan and I worked it all out for my glory? What about this other time? I was faithful then. Daughter I love you and I know you don’t get it and I know you can’t see what I see but I have never left you alone and I have never forsaken you and I have always been faithful and I always always will.”
My struggle hasn’t disappeared. It still hurts and I still don’t get it. But it has helped sooth some hurt and calm my anxiousness to dwell on the memories of God coming through in amazing ways. It helps give assurance that there is a plan in this too. God is faithful.
I took some time to look back through thoughts I wrote 2-3 years ago… these three posts ministered to me and helped remind me of the faithful God I serve…
Called to the Fatherless: A Barren Mother
16 comments
Kate - Praying for you, Lauren! I feel the same way right now, but I keep getting those small reminders, too.
Shelby - A dear friend of mine, author of the blog A Place Called Simplicity (aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com) keeps a Memorial Box. Their family has a small chest and inside they put small tokens of remembrance when God shows up big time for their family. Then, when discouragement hits and they need some help remembering, they get the box out and go through it. She writes a lot about it on the blog. This post reminds me of that. Praying for you.
Alison - Praying for you, sweet Lauren. Keep crying out to the Lord. He will be faithful to meet you right where you are!
Kelly - Praying for you!
Mrs. Miller - You are in prayer.
jenn - Praying for you friend….to find peace through Him. Not sure what is going on but you will be in my thoughts and prayers!
Barbie - Lauren, He is faithful. I am thankful He is reminding you of His faithfulness. His steadfast love never ceases. Praying His peace over you tonight.
Amy - I’m sorry that you’re struggling, Lauren. But I’m so glad that God is reminding you of His character & how He has come through in the past. He is faithful & will carry you through this! <3
Megan - I’m so sorry you’re struggling…but joyful to see you’re keeping your eyes fixed on Him and His love for you. Praying!
Dawn - Yes, God IS faithful. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Praying for you…
Kim - Just prayed for you. Thank you for ministering to me with your words and reminders of truth in my own personal time of feeling “confused, torn, unsettled and heartsick”.
andrea - thinking of you today…love you sister!
Amy Boyer - Hmm – I don’t know what is wrong but just a reminder that you can always talk to your mom! Hope it is better for you soon. Love, Mom
PS. we just got our coffee from the love site!
Esther - what a blessing to have reminders of god’s previous blessings. they show some light at the end of the tunnel. hope for sure.
Joye - praying for you, Lauren! what a powerful post. it ministers to me so much, I’ve been walking through a lot of heartache lately and just trying not to drown in it, and God is ALWAYS reminding me just as He so gently spoke to you, to remember that He is faithful. To remember what He has done for me. To remember… God is so good!
bobi bobbitt - Praying for you right now, sweet friend! (: