Lauren Casper »

Leaving Your Child on the Other Side of the World

I can honestly say that today has been the worst day of my life. We were given no notice that the time was coming to leave Hannah’s Hope. Someone just came upstairs and said, “time to say goodbye.” I wish I could explain, but it’s impossible. I wish I could tell you I kept it together, but I didn’t. I fell apart … completely. John and I just held and kissed him over and over as I stood there sobbing. There just aren’t words to describe the pain of leaving your child half way around the world. I’ve felt like throwing up for the rest of the day. I wish I could tell all the families coming after us that it isn’t too bad, that it will be alright… but that’s a lie. It ‘s worse than any hurt I could ever think of and it just isn’t okay. It’s not. Nothing anyone can say will ever make me believe that. BUT God is in control. He knows how I hurt and he knows how much we love our son. He will give us the grace to carry on through the next several weeks. Please be patient with me. I am raw … if I randomly tear up just know it’s because I left my heart here in Ethiopia and I am struggling just to breathe.

I am sitting in the airport in Ethiopia. Our flight has been delayed 6 hours and we are just praying that we will make our connection in Frankfurt. If not, there’s another flight leaving 5 hours later. One way or another we’ll be home sometime soon and in our beds. I wish it wasn’t so… I wish I could stay. I have fallen in love with Ethiopia and I don’t want to leave. Not to mention, my son is 30 minutes away and I can’t do anything about it.

Thank you for your encouragement, compassion, and prayers… we need them more than you know!

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