John and I traveled “back home” last weekend to be there for a very special college graduation. It was only the second time we’d been back since we moved last summer and it was a wonderful visit. While we were there we had a looooong lunch with our Chaplain and his wife (who are more like Dad and Mom to us!) We haven’t kept in great contact over the last 10 months mostly because they are so busy and we are so busy – and our schedules don’t always line up. So, they were dying to hear all about how we came to decide to adopt and then all about that journey. It was so amazing to retell the story and just see God in all of it. I had also never really shared out loud the spiritual work God has done in my heart through this adoption process and it was incredible what I was hearing come out of my mouth. When we finished sharing, Chap had two verses come to him … James 1:27 and Psalm 113:9. Those two verses have been extremely precious to me over the past 7-8 months we’ve been on this adoption journey.
Chap and Kathryn are so excited for us, and so happy to have a better understanding of this journey. Chap encouraged me to write down much of what I shared with him so that he could share it with others and get the word out. I sat down Tuesday morning and began to type… 2 1/2 pages later I was finished. (and I had to leave a lot out just because it was getting so long! haha) As I read over the story God has written for my life so far I was filled with joy and tears spilled down my face. I want to share just part of it for you today (don’t worry – it won’t be 2 1/2 pages!)
From childhood I have dreamed of becoming a mother. From childhood I have had a tender heart toward those in need. As I’ve grown in faith and years, the Lord has only increased those traits in my life. I still long for the day when I hear a child call me mama, and I still cry when we pass a homeless man on the street or see pictures of orphans in Africa. For a time I tried to dismiss these things. I tried to stifle them and become someone else. But the Lord has shown me that they are a crucial part of who I am, and who He created me to be. He made me with a mother’s heart, a compassionate spirit, and a barren body. The last few years have taken me on a journey of realizing that God never makes mistakes, and embracing who I am has opened the doors to my life’s calling…
The last seven months have been a spiritual journey life nothing I’ve ever experienced. As we have filled out each piece of paperwork, completed several interviews, made payments, and waited we have grown into our calling. I have come to a complete peace and acceptance that I am unable to carry a child in my womb. I have been launched into a calling that I never would have dreamed up myself … but so perfectly fits who I am. My heart for the orphan has been expanded in way I though impossible. I have peace, joy, and excitement! I know without any doubt that God made me with a perfect plan in mind. When he shaped my anatomy he knew that I would have difficulty with carrying children. When He breathed life into my soul and put desires in my heart He knew that I would long for motherhood. He also knew that my heart would break over the plight of the fatherless children. He knew that I would do whatever it took to give them a home. he knew that race, gender, color, and genealogy would make no difference to me. He that one day my eyes would be opened to the wonderful plans He made for me. God knew that I would take Mark 9:37 and make it my mission, “whoever welcomes a child like that in my name welcomes me.”
John and I have stood amazed at the work of God in our lives. We have watched as He has provided for every need we’ve ever had. We feel honored that He is now using us to meet the needs of others. It’s required a complete trust in Him. But through His Spirit we have gained the courage to say that we would literally go to the ends of the earth to serve Him and serve others. We’re in awe that God has chosen us for the unique calling of looking after “the least of these.” … and that He has chosen me (for now) to be a barren mother.