Thank you so much for your prayers and sweet words of encouragement! You have been such wonderful friends to me and I could absolutely tell that you’ve been lifting me up to the Father over the last several days. I am happy to report back to you that things are steadily getting better.
I mentioned that it was time for me to take action in a certain area of my life last week. I also mentioned that it was going to be very difficult for me to do. There was a lot of fear involved. The action was also one that is going to affect a lot of other people in a big way. I don’t want to say that I feel guilt – but I am very aware that they’ll be affected by this. I am not ready to share just yet. But, I do want to tell you that I took action on Friday afternoon. I was nervous and full of fear, but a sweet friend of mine gave me Psalm 27:14 “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage.” With that verse in my heart and the knowledge of my husband’s love and support, I was able to do a very hard thing. Just seconds later I knew that I had done the right thing. I am in the will of God. I immediately felt a burden lifted. My heart felt so much lighter! I was able to go into my weekend filled with joy and peace… finally peace!!
I would like to ask for your prayers again. Whenever I am tired, stressed, and overwhelmed I feel the loss of our children more keenly. I guess I am just at my weakest, and Satan sees the opportunity to remind me of the pain. Then he tries to convince me that none of this would be happening if I still had my children and that everything would be better if they were still here. The thought is not from God, but when I am worn out emotionally, I am sad to say that I succumb to it. Thankfully God never gets tired of healing my broken heart all over again. To add to this – a friend of ours from church lost her baby to a miscarriage yesterday. Of course you know that my heart is broken for her. I try not to, but I feel the pain right along with her. Yesterday, when the pastor announced that there was trouble in her pregnancy, I just wanted to crawl in the corner and bawl my eyes out. I know the pain she’s going through and I just have to say that I hate it that anyone anywhere ever loses a child. I know its part of the broken world we live in … but I hate it. So please pray for my friend Chani. She already has 4 children – so an entire family is feeling this loss.