Lauren Casper » Embracing the Story

almost shipwrecked

“hold on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith.”
1 Timothy 1:19

What happens when you lose your good conscience? You shipwreck your life. How do you lose your good conscience? You ignore it when that yucky churning feeling starts twisting up your insides. You find exuses to keep doing whatever it is that your conscience is telling you to quit. You find reasons why it would actually be better for you to ignore that feeling and keep going.

The result: shipwrecked – something in your life (or your whole life) dashed to pieces and fall apart while you get thrown into a raging sea.

But the good news is that we can follow that icky feeling and stop what we’re doing that disturbs our conscience and return to a pure conscience. Even if it seems crazy and you’re thinking “why on earth is this thing bothering me? I’m not doing anything wrong!” you still stop it and walk in faith – realizing that we don’t know what we’re doing. We have such small minds and an even tinier view of life. God knows and that’s why He’s blessed us with a conscience. Without it we would get ourselves into all kinds of trouble.

I am guilty of ignoring my conscience at times. In fact, just recently I had a bout with my stubborn side. It was over an issue that God had repeatedly shown me He is Lord over. Looking back I realize how mule headed I was being! Sometimes I look at myself and think that I really am just a bag of filthy rags – no amount of “righteousness” on my part amounts to a thing!

Whenever I think I am finally getting it all together – the hammer falls. It falls on the same place … my pride. It’s because of my pride that I ignored my conscience in the first place! I guess I thought I knew better than God … ha! Anyone else see the ridiculousness of that statement?

So this is my confession: I don’t have it all together. In fact, I never do and probably never will. I still disobey God, even when my deepest desire is to serve and follow Him in all things. I still struggle with my stupid pride and I still sully my conscience from time to time.

Praise God that He forgives. Praise God that we can come to Him in repentance and He cleans our conscience. Then I’m back at square one – “holding on to faith and a good conscience.” If not for Him, I would be shipwrecked.

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