A couple years ago God used a song by Casting Crowns to really speak into my heart and John’s heart. We were convicted about the way we were living out our faith (or maybe more like the way we weren’t living out our faith.) We were stuck in a rut. We were in this “in-between” place in our lives. We desperately wanted children, but 2 days before Christmas received a phone call from the doctor with our final analysis: infertile… not likely to ever have biological children… 6 percent chance. For the past year we had been living with our focus on getting pregnant – and staying pregnant. After two miscarriages, what seemed like thousands of tests and doctors visits and co – pays, and even more tears, heart ache and pain we came to a point where we realized we weren’t putting our trust in God. We were stuck in the place of refusing to let go of our plans and our dreams. Behind us was a trail littered with tears, shattered hopes, and broken dreams. Ahead of us was the future God planned – the dreams He has for us – the hopes He wants to fulfill. But we just couldn’t seem to get from our past to our future. We were caught in the middle.
Thankfully God didn’t let us stay there. He loves us far too much. He launched us up out of our pit and onto a new path – His path. A path filled with hope and faith. After a message that broke our hearts and led us to repentance we found ourselves on our knees and re-surrendering EVERYTHING to God. He tenderly mended our wounded hearts and torn spirits. Then He started speaking and we listened. This led to us becoming foster parents to the sweetest twin two year old boys on earth! It was a hard path – and some people thought we were crazy – but it was God’s plan. I wonder if we would have ever done that if we’d refused to let go of our dreams of biological children. But, God’s plans for us were to provide a loving home to two little boys who desperately needed one. It wasn’t easy for us … but faith never is. We were blessed beyond measure for our obedience in this way.
Next God launched us out of our comfort zone again and into unchartered waters. He called John to seminary and asked us to give up everything to follow Him in this way. We had no jobs, no living arrangements, a house that wouldn’t sell, and two months before classes started and we had to move! But, we had come to a place where we knew that not following the Lord’s call would be detrimental. So we continued on and in the space of 3 weeks God sold our house, found me a job, found John a job and provided a home for us. We were blown away. The move has not been easy – there are days when I really miss our comfort zone and wish I was still back in the boat. But, I know I would be miserable in the boat and that it’s much better to be walking on the water with Jesus.
God is doing it again. We’re being launched out of “comfortable” and into the unknown. Into an orphanage in the most impoverished country on earth. Into the heart of a child we haven’t met. Into a decision that will change our lives forever. He has called us to adopt a baby from Ethiopia and we are following. We are excited and scared. There is a lot to go through from now until we get from here to our son. There is a mountain of paperwork and a lot of money to be raised. But, God will provide for all our needs. He always does. He who called you to it will get you through it! Please pray for us … our deepest desire is to …
Be fearless warriors with reckless abandon and deep water faith, accepting the God who is and trading our dream for His….