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This morning I dropped both my little ones off at preschool and returned home to an empty house. I picked up the remnants of the morning rush, reheated my coffee for the third time, and sat down wondering what to do with myself. I hadn’t eaten yet, so I started rummaging through the cupboard to see what looked good.

It’s been a hard week for me. I’ve been having some health issues and got some tough news at a doctor’s appointment last week. Chronic disease can really wear you down sometimes. I’ve been a little extra edgy and emotional  this week. I blame it on the new medication, and that’s probably partly true, but I think I’m just feeling sort of raw.

I decided to run to the store and grab some things for tonight’s dinner and while I was there I grabbed the fixings for a big brunch. I got home and prepared that big brunch just for me. I sat down to eat in quiet and solitude – nothing but the hum of the dishwasher and James Taylor playing softly. It was delicious.

Sometimes I get so busy running around and chasing the kids and trying to do the next right thing that I forget to take care of me. If given a choice to care for myself or my family I’ll pick my family every time. I’d guess most moms are like that. A friend of mine checked in on me the other day and asked how I was doing. I told her I was at peace with everything but still had some sad moments. She knows me well. “Don’t forget that you’re also grieving about the news … maybe give your heart some time and grace that way too.” And with that my heart opened up and the tears started to fall.

Somewhere in the last week of processing things I told myself that I shouldn’t be sad, that it was really the best thing for me, that having faith meant just forging on and moving forward and not letting this get me down. But peace and pain aren’t mutually exclusive. I can have true peace and hurt at the same time. I can be afraid but still trust God. I can grieve a loss but still believe His plans are best.

Maybe you needed to hear that today too – that whatever is happening or hurting in your life right now is held safely in God’s hands, but that doesn’t mean you can’t cry and feel all the normal emotions that go with hard things.

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  • Megan - Beautifully written. Thank you for being so honest. In prayer for you.ReplyCancel

Last month I was featured in an article in WORLD magazine. (You can find it online here.) It was beautifully written by a sweet journalist I now call my friend. Bethany contacted me last winter to see if I was willing to be interviewed for an article she wanted to write about infertility and pregnancy loss. It was an honor to share my story with her one rainy day in February at the corner table in a local coffee shop. We spent hours talking back and forth… her asking questions and me answering them. But one particular question stuck with me well beyond our coffee shop chat. As I wondered out loud at the lack of attention given to infertility by the Church and Christian culture at large she turned it around on me and asked what I was doing to care for women going through what I’ve spent nine years living. It was convicting. She was truly asking, not in a sarcastic “well what are you doing about it?” way, but really wanted to know.

Scattered around the country three other women had that same question gnawing at their hearts… and God was working in each of us in really neat ways to set the stage for what was coming. One had been a dear friend of mine for a handful of years (and is the photographer who took the photo featured in the article above), the other two I wouldn’t meet for a few more months. Wynne, Sarah, and Katie all wanted to do something... but what? Finally Wynne connected all four of us and we spent months texting, emailing, and google chatting. There’s a need and we all felt a deep sense of duty and urgency to begin meeting that need. Because infertility matters… 

Today The Carry Camp launches.

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This is the the fruit of months of praying and hard work and brainstorming how to fill the gaping hole in ministry today. I could go on for days about this new ministry we’re building from the ground up, but instead I’ll just strongly encourage you to visit the site. Explore, read, and see how we might serve you or someone you love. Our launch blog post gives you a glimpse into what this is all about and what we’re planning.

It is not a coincidence that we are launching today. We did not pick some arbitrary day on the calendar – no, we chose today specifically. October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. As the article I referenced above shares, pregnancy loss is a large part of many couples’ infertility journey. It is an enormous part of my story. It matters. There may be hearts hurting a little extra today and we chose this day to launch our new ministry for anyone who needs to know they matter – their story matters – they are not alone – and we want to help shoulder the burden.

It would mean the world to me, and the rest of the team, if you would take the time to share our new ministry today. Someone in your social media circle might just need it – I’d even go further and say that someone in your social media circle definitely needs it.

There’s a part of me that wants to jump and shout and throw confetti in the air because it’s launch day!! We’ve been pouring our hearts into this for months and it’s been a really tough secret to keep… we’ve been laboring over this with prayers and tears and even laughter. To have it finally be ready to release is exciting for the four of us. But there’s the other side, that bigger part of me that understands this isn’t a giddy “woohoo” kind of launch. Yes, “finally.” But that word is breathed by hearts carrying deep hurts, bearing deep scars, and feeling the ache of relief someone finally noticed and cared and reached out. It is choked out through tears by battle weary women who just need a little sisterhood and hope. 

So today, on a day that might make your heart a little more raw than usual, some see us over at The Carry Camp. Grab a cup of coffee, sit, and stay awhile. Let us be there for you. Email us. Share your story. Find others who get it it. We want to love you. We want to help carry that burden. 

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 ( You can also find The Carry Camp on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest )

  • Heather - Thank you Lauren and the rest of The Carry Camp team for listening to your hearts and loving women dealing with infertility and pregnancy loss. I know first hand that it is a lonely road. I look forward to seeing how God uses this ministry to bless those who feel forgotten.ReplyCancel

  • wynne - well said my friend! love you!ReplyCancel

  • David C Brown - May God bless you in your endeavours.ReplyCancel